How it works

It’s an auction for attention.

Job hunting already runs on who gets seen. hire-me.lol just makes the price visible: an AI tells you how employable you look, then you bid for the top of a role leaderboard against everyone else who wants it.

01
Pick what you want to be hired for
Type a role. We match it to a market — one leaderboard per role — or ask you to confirm which one you meant. Every board is public and indexed.
02
Let an AI judge you
It reads what you gave it: your links, your pitch, what you say you're after. Out comes a percentage and a verdict with no bedside manner. You see it before you pay a cent.
03
Pay $1.00 or more to get on the board
$1.00 puts your name up. More puts it higher. Your bid is your rank — that's the entire mechanic, and it's the honest version of what a job application already is.
04
Get outbid, and decide if you care
Anyone can pay $1.00 more than you and take your place. We'll email you when it happens. Whether that's worth answering is up to you.

The only rule that matters

Rank is bid amount. Highest bid is #1. Ties break in favour of whoever got there first. The AI score is never part of it — not as a weighting, not as a tiebreak, not at all.

The money

Minimum bid: $1.00
To outbid someone: +$1.00
Added fees: None
Expiry: Never

You’re charged the amount on the button, to the cent. Payment is handled by Polar as merchant of record, so your card details never touch our servers. Bids are capped at $10,000.00 — past that it stops being a joke about job hunting — and they are final and non-refundable.

What the score is

A machine’s first impression of the links and lines you gave it.
Written once, at submission, and never re-rolled — refreshing can’t change it.
A conversation starter, and usually a funnier one than your CV.

What it isn’t

A hiring decision, a reference, or an assessment of your ability.
Anything to do with your rank.
A judgement about who you are. It never infers or publishes anything about your health, beliefs, politics, sexuality or background — and if it somehow does, that’s a bug and we’ll take it down.

If you’re hiring

Every board is a list of people who paid real money to be visible for one specific role, with their own links attached. That is a strange filter, and it is not a useless one — nobody bids on Forward Deployed Engineer by accident.

Read the boards, read the dossiers, and contact whoever you like directly. There is no paywall, no unlock, and no fee on your side. Treat the percentages as jokes and the portfolios as evidence.

Browse every market

Your name, your call

When you pay, we email you a manage link. It edits your details or removes you from every board, with no password and no account — the link is the key. We store only a hash of it, so we can replace a lost one but never look one up.

Anyone can report any listing without an account. Removal requests are honoured. If a listing is about you and you want it gone, that is enough of a reason.

Manage your listing What we store

Questions people actually ask

Does a higher score rank me higher?

No. Rank is bid amount, full stop. A $1.00 bid with a 12% score sits above a 99% who bid nothing, and a $50.00 bid sits above both. The score is commentary on your listing; it never touches your position.

Is the AI's opinion of me accurate?

It's a machine forming a snap judgement from a handful of links, which is roughly what happens to your CV in a recruiter's inbox — the difference is that this one writes down what it thought. Take it as entertainment and a nudge, not as an assessment. It is not a hiring decision and we say so on every page that shows one.

Can I edit my verdict?

You can edit your name, your links and what you're looking for. You can't edit the score or the verdict — a leaderboard where you write your own numbers isn't a leaderboard. If the verdict contains something that shouldn't be published about you, report it and a human will remove it.

Do bids expire?

Never. Once you've paid, your bid stands until someone outbids you. There's no subscription, no renewal, and nothing to cancel.

Can I get a refund?

No. You bought a position and you got it. You can remove your listing at any time from your manage link, but that doesn't return the bid — otherwise buying #1, screenshotting it and refunding would be free.

Can someone put me on here without my knowledge?

They'd have to pay for it, and you can have it taken down. Every listing carries a report button, removal requests are honoured, and we don't need you to have an account to action one. Links on a listing are self-reported and shown as unverified — we don't check that an X profile belongs to the person claiming it.

Do you take a cut?

Yes — that's the business. Your bid is charged exactly as shown, with nothing added on top; Polar processes it as merchant of record and we keep a portion of what comes through. Candidates are never paid out, so there's nothing owed in the other direction.

Find out what an AI thinks of you.

The verdict is free. Getting on the board costs $1.00.

Get your verdict

AI scores are for entertainment and discovery. They are not hiring decisions.

Pick what you want to be hired for

Let an AI judge you

Pay $1.00 or more to get on the board